| Player standings [?] | ||||||||||||||||||
| # | Player | Team | W | D | L | GP | GF | GA | Td | Cp | Int | Cas | BH | Si | Ki | MVP | SPP | Value |
| +/- | +/- | +/- | +/- | +/- | +/- | +/- | +/- | +/- | +/- | +/- | +/- | +/- | +/- | +/- | +/- | +/- | ||
| 1 | Booby Clarke | Broadway Bullies | 4 | 9 | 16 | 29 | 15 | 46 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 9 | 7 | 2 | 0 | 6 | 53 | 260k |
| 2 | Grill Barber | Broadway Bullies | 4 | 9 | 17 | 30 | 16 | 48 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 9 | 3 | 5 | 1 | 4 | 38 | 220k |
| 3 | Herry Crisp | Broadway Bullies | 4 | 9 | 17 | 30 | 16 | 48 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 20k |
| 4 | Grave Schultz Jr. | Broadway Bullies | 3 | 8 | 12 | 23 | 13 | 33 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 35 | 210k |
| 5 | Burning Parent | Broadway Bullies | 3 | 8 | 15 | 26 | 13 | 43 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 14 | 8 | 5 | 1 | 4 | 49 | 210k |
| 6 | Slob Kelly | Broadway Bullies | 3 | 8 | 16 | 27 | 13 | 45 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 19 | 70k |
| 7 | Slow Watson | Broadway Bullies | 3 | 8 | 16 | 27 | 13 | 45 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 11 | 40k |
| 8 | Spill Clement | Broadway Bullies | 3 | 8 | 16 | 27 | 13 | 45 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 8 | 40k |
| 9 | Prick MacLeish | Broadway Bullies | 2 | 7 | 11 | 20 | 10 | 27 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 10 | 4 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 33 | 210k |
| 10 | Ben Afflek | Lizard-men | 9 | 7 | 6 | 22 | 36 | 31 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 8 | 6 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 29 | 150k |
| 11 | Bill O'Reilly | Lizard-men | 9 | 7 | 6 | 22 | 36 | 31 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 33 | 140k |
| 12 | Kevin Spacey | Lizard-men | 9 | 7 | 6 | 22 | 36 | 31 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 6 | 2 | 3 | 1 | 4 | 34 | 140k |
| 13 | Charlie Rose | Lizard-men | 9 | 7 | 6 | 22 | 36 | 31 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 3 | 26 | 130k |
| 14 | Louis C.K. | Lizard-men | 9 | 7 | 6 | 22 | 36 | 31 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 20 | 120k |
| 15 | Mark Halperin | Lizard-men | 9 | 7 | 5 | 21 | 35 | 27 | 8 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 25 | 110k |
| 16 | John Travolta | Lizard-men | 9 | 7 | 6 | 22 | 36 | 31 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 14 | 100k |
| 17 | Brett Ratner | Lizard-men | 9 | 7 | 6 | 22 | 36 | 31 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 12 | 80k |
| 18 | Bleed Van Impe Jr. | Broadway Bullies | 1 | 7 | 10 | 18 | 8 | 28 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 7 | 40k |
| 19 | M. E. Sal | Ever-Rott Epidemics | 12 | 6 | 12 | 30 | 30 | 33 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 4 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 19 | 180k |
| 20 | Dredgy Leach | Broadway Bullies | 3 | 6 | 13 | 22 | 12 | 39 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 4 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 22 | 180k |
| 21 | Lady Mal | Ever-Rott Epidemics | 11 | 6 | 12 | 29 | 28 | 33 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 29 | 180k |
| 22 | Sir Can | Ever-Rott Epidemics | 12 | 6 | 12 | 30 | 30 | 33 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 5 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 24 | 150k |
| 23 | R. U. Bella | Ever-Rott Epidemics | 12 | 6 | 12 | 30 | 30 | 33 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 2 | 1 | 5 | 33 | 150k |
| 24 | Bubo-nick | Ever-Rott Epidemics | 12 | 6 | 11 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 5 | 1 | 0 | 12 | 5 | 6 | 1 | 1 | 45 | 140k |
| 25 | Joe Mauler | The Mighty Quins | 10 | 5 | 5 | 20 | 42 | 32 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 50 | 210k |
| 26 | Carol | The Sauntering Dead | 14 | 5 | 5 | 24 | 41 | 28 | 20 | 6 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 4 | 92 | 190k |
| 27 | Daryl | The Sauntering Dead | 13 | 5 | 5 | 23 | 39 | 28 | 7 | 1 | 0 | 9 | 5 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 40 | 180k |
| 28 | Ziggy Stardust | The Mighty Quins | 9 | 5 | 5 | 19 | 37 | 29 | 4 | 2 | 0 | 5 | 3 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 34 | 180k |
| 29 | W. Nile | Ever-Rott Epidemics | 11 | 5 | 10 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 10 | 10 | 0 | 5 | 3 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 60 | 170k |
| 30 | Blitz Robshaw | The Mighty Quins | 10 | 5 | 5 | 20 | 42 | 32 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 40 | 170k |
| 31 | Danny Flair | The Mighty Quins | 10 | 5 | 5 | 20 | 42 | 32 | 1 | 25 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 33 | 170k |
| 32 | Theo Thrombosis | Ever-Rott Epidemics | 11 | 5 | 10 | 26 | 27 | 27 | 6 | 4 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 39 | 150k |
| 33 | Ben Dapperguy | The Mighty Quins | 4 | 5 | 4 | 13 | 26 | 24 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 20 | 150k |
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Sorted against: -draw, -value, -td, -cas, -spp, +name
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